Unlike the first eleven presidential debates, this one, the last before the election, was particularly unexciting. Like evenly matched prize fighters hoping to win on points alone, the candidates bobbed and weaved around every question the moderator threw at them. Truth be known, the moderator, who had presided over numerous presidential debates in the past, had become quite irate in private over their performance. He was overheard saying, ‘Jesus Christ they get more and more like slick used car salesmen every election cycle.’ Nevertheless he persisted.
“Gentlemen, we come to the final question of the debate. As agreed upon earlier, unlike all other questions during these debates, you were not given this one in advance. In addition, I will not call on you to answer. The first to speak up has the floor.”
The moderator took a quick sip from his water, and then pulled a thick book from under his desk. It had a single bookmarked page to which he slowly but deliberately turned.
“You may or may not know this, but I’m a bit of an amateur historian. Professor Broward Nooseman, a renowned World War Two scholar, just published a book containing a recently discovered trove of Adolph Hitler’s personal journals. In one of them he found a particularly interesting passage. I’d like to read that passage to you now, and pose our final question of the night.”
Both candidates appeared puzzled but confident about this little twist of events. Both nodded their approval to proceed.
“Thank you gentlemen. The passage reads as follows. ‘I hate those Jews. I really really hate them. So much so that I get sick to my stomach. On the other hand, I get great relief from watching my two cute and cuddly puppies play around. Puppies are just so adorable and cute.’”
My question to you gentlemen is, “Do you agree with Hitler that puppies are cute?”
Ken Schweda is a Systems Analyst and former technical writer. He now writes fiction and poetry. His work has appeared in Perihelion SF, The Bookends Review, Spank the Carp, and others. Read more at kenjeavus.com.
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